No Contact IS the answer
And when I say no contact I mean it. No more checking his socials or keeping his things around or discussing him with friends. Truly leave the past behind.
I have two exes who I couldn't get over. The one I blamed for coaxing me to leave the other. It's been a 3 year process of truly realizing what circumstances I found myself in, how I messed up and how much I was manipulated and misused.
I tried reaching out to one but his life is much better without me, so why pull him through his past. So a month ago I blocked myself from him. So it's been 6 months NC with one and 1 months NC on my side (cause he doesn't respond).
I have truly been able to move on. Prioritizing myself and my needs, making my own little queer safe space with friends who are family, and indulging in my art. And now I have found a connection that absolutely delights me.
I feel like a giddy kid again, excited when he messaged, even if it's just HI!...I just had lunch with a friend who said she can see my spirit brighten again and I'm just happy that I've been able to stick to my boundaries and found someone who exceeds my expectations now 🥰💜