So sick of the stigma involving antidepressants

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of suicide

All over the internet I’ve seen horror stories, complaints, and straight up bullshit regarding antidepressants. People are wanting them banned, others are claiming they “ruined their life”, and some are denying their effectiveness. I’m not saying that some people don’t have adverse reactions or side effects outweighing the benefit, i’m just saying that zoloft is currently saving my life every day and we cannot disregard those who have benefited immensely from taking SSRI’s.

Backstory: when I was 15, i was struggling with severe anxiety and depression at school every single day. I’ve had panic attacks where I nearly called an ambulance. I nearly attempted suicide at some points. I grew up in an abusive household where I was abandoned and my worth was based on my academics. Every morning before school i suffered gastrointestinal issues from the pure stress and pressure I was facing. I was on the toilet all morning and nearly vomiting before getting ready for school. My mom finally took me to a doctor because we thought there was an issue with my gut. They did scans and bloodwork and found nothing. They referred me to a therapist finally. I did therapy on and off for a couple years but never found any relief. My panic attacks, worries, depression, and OCD all hit me at full force. I had been offered antidepressants by my doctor multiple times but I refused because “I did not want to be dependent on a drug.” Fast forward to junior year, I completely folded under pressure and could not attend school. I was stuck in fight or flight every time I entered the building like there was a bear chasing me. STILL I refused antidepressants. I went from a 4.0 GPA to barely passing every class with a D-.

Things seemed to be improving this year. I could go to school even thought the anxiety was still present and I have been excelling in all of my classes. That was until December when everything went downhill. I woke up in a panic every morning, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, my worries were at an all time high. I spent christmas eve contemplating suicide. My family would not talk to me so I had to spend christmas with my girlfriend watching me to make sure I did not do anything stupid. I thought my life was over. I bawled my eyes out every single day just being alive. I had forgotten who I was. This lasted all the way until the beginning of this month.

I started taking zoloft just a few weeks ago and it has already improved my quality of life by ten times. I have a job at a pharmacy, I’m doing well in school, I can go out in public without feeling anxiety. Every single day I take this little pill I am able to conquer my fears and feel my old self coming back more and more. I can work through my traumas and grow every day. I am only taking 50mg at the moment and I feel so refreshed and ready to improve even more.

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading my life story 😭. The moral of the story is SSRI’s are not for everyone. Some people are going to react negatively or just not like the feeling they give. But we cannot deny that these drugs can save lives. I would much rather take sexual dysfunction and vivid dreams over the hell I was living in. If you are starting zoloft, please stick with it, your life could change. You are not weak for taking antidepressants and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. Stop reading reviews of bitchy people telling you that ssri’s are poison or a scam. The “big pharma evil” argument is seriously getting old. With the right combination of therapies and meds, we can all live the lives that have been stolen from us that we so much deserve. Good luck to everybody on this sub, I hope you all find that zoloft works wonders for you.