Bride called me a bitch on Bach trip and made group chat without me
Hi all! (throwaway account for obvious reasons) if anyone can give me any advice how to navigate being friends with this bride, please let me know!
I was the only non-bridesmaid invited on a friend’s bachelorette trip. Out of the 10 plus women invited, only 3 ended up coming (myself, bride’s sister, and bride’s bff). I wasn’t shocked that her lifelong friends from home bailed, as the bride expected each of us to spend ~2k (Airbnb, flights, outfits to match the daily themes, etc.) I voiced to her that this is a large financial ask for a lot of us. She didn’t seem to understand & was visibly VERY upset that most of her lifelong friends/bridesmaids cancelled last minute. In fact, she spent the entire trip talking about the friends that didn’t come and how much they would have loved it there. From the start, she seemed disappointed that we weren’t who she really wanted there.
The morning of the trip, our airline had bumped us to an earlier flight. I was the first to notice, and called everyone in the middle of the night to let them know we had less than an hour to get to the airport. Myself and the bride’s bff made our flight while the bride had to take a different flight at another nearby airport. This was when I noticed the bride, her bff, and her sister had made a group chat for the trip excluding me. I thought this was weird, but said nothing and let it go.
The bride’s sister proceeded to spend the entire trip talking to me like I was a child and needed instruction. She was rude, intrusive and condescending from the start. She reprimanded me and the bff saying it was the bride’s trip and that she shouldn’t have to pay for anything. While this sentiment is nice, we were never told about any of the planned activities, nor that we would be footing the bill until it was too late.
Things got even worse when we went to the beach. I packed the only three bikinis I owned (a white one with a lot of coverage, a green string bikini that no longer fit, and a blue bikini (which was supposed to be reserved to for the yacht day). I started my period that morning and decided to wear the white one, thinking the bride wouldn’t care because she knew I was on my period and felt awful, I was wearing a black coverup over it the entire time, and we weren’t given rules for attire at the beach. I felt okay about my decision because I left my engagement ring at home and never wanted to take away from the bride on her special trip. Despite having an opaque coverup for the entire day, I saw that the bride was texting her bridesmaid group chat to tell them: “____’s fiancé (me) is SUCH a bitch, and she wore WHITE”
Other than the bikini, I couldn’t think of anything else I had done to upset her or be unkind. Back at the Airbnb, I approached the bride to say that I hope she wasn’t upset about the bikini, I know it was her trip, that I genuinely felt bloated/disgusting and that I couldn’t afford to purchase any more clothes for the sole purpose of this trip. She assured me she totally understood. She then told me she wasn’t sure if she had packed a white coverup, so I offered the one I brought as a backup (but made it clear I never intended to wear it). This resulted in her sister telling me she would pour an entire bottle of red wine on me if I wore it. I ended up staying back while everyone else went to dinner and everyone came back, they stood in the front hall making fun of me and imitating me (thinking I was asleep). I said nothing, let it go, and spent the rest of the trip being as nice and as bubbly as I could be.
On the final night of the trip, I was talking to the bride about her wedding planning progress. This managed to turn into a conversation about my own upcoming wedding. The bride then told me that she, nor God, “condone” my marriage because my fiancé and I chose to not get married in a church. She proceeded to say that “Actually we’re going against God if we attend your wedding.” I was appalled to hear this from a fellow Catholic woman. I tried to explain that I was raised to be accepting and kind, and that my religious beliefs do not get in the way of my friendships. This set her off even more, as she then told me that everything I was taught by the church I was raised in was blasphemous nonsense and that I wasn’t Catholic at all. I didn’t know what to say and went to bed.
The bride has continued to reach out to me as if we are the best of friends after the trip. I don’t know how to respond to this, as she and my fiancé work closely and we see her at events very regularly. Cutting her out completely is not an option. Any advice is much appreciated.
TL;DR: Bride made a group chat without me before the trip, called me a bitch for wearing a white bikini under a black coverup, made fun of me, and told me my upcoming marriage isn’t valid in the eyes of God, but is insisting we’re still friends. What do I do?