Cheater < Overall Bad Person

Watching the discussions around Tom Sandoval, and his PR declaration that the world has forgiven him, has made me kind of pause in confusion.

I didn’t realize the conversation is “was he justified in cheating”/“it was two years ago!” vs criticisms seasons and seasons of awful behavior.

It feels like some people think the commentary on Sandoval is JUST about the affair, and therefore the opinions about him are rooted in his personhood in THAT specific circumstance. And for me? No, it’s genuinely just observations of his behavior over the last 10 years combined with critical thinking, and truly understanding the type of man he is.

The same can be said for Jax, Schwartz, or James as well. The affair was/is just a symptom of the disease: the actual spirit of the person he is and chooses to be.

Yes we can giggle when he’s dumb, I guess. But also like…. Why should I have to forgive someone with repetitive displays of manipulative narcissism, misogyny, arrogance, and little to no self awareness?

When are we able to say, “yeah, he’s fucking awful” without following up with “but it’s been two years!!!”

Watching the discussions around Tom Sandoval, and his PR declaration that the world has forgiven him, has made me kind of pause in confusion.

I didn’t realize the conversation is “was he justified in cheating”/“it was two years ago!” vs criticisms seasons and seasons of awful behavior.

It feels like some people think the commentary on Sandoval is JUST about the affair, and therefore the opinions about him are rooted in his personhood in THAT specific circumstance. And for me? No, it’s genuinely just observations of his behavior over the last 10 years combined with critical thinking, and truly understanding the type of man he is.

The same can be said for Jax, Schwartz, or James as well. The affair was/is just a symptom of the disease: the actual spirit of the person he is and chooses to be.

Yes we can giggle when he’s dumb, I guess. But also like…. Why should I have to forgive someone with repetitive displays of manipulative narcissism, misogyny, arrogance, and little to no self awareness?

When are we able to say, “yeah, he’s fucking awful” without following up with “but it’s been two years!!!”