is it possible for vaginismus make me completely unable to even get a pinky finger in?

So, this has been troubling me for awhile. A few weeks ago I managed to work up the courage to talk to my therapist about it, and I'm scheduled for my first gynae's appointment in early March. I think I may have vaginismus, but I'm not diagnosed & I'm not sure.

Thing is, I can't get ANYTHING into my vagina, no matter how small. Even my pinky finger. I feel like I'm pushing against a "wall" of muscle (?) and there's no hole there. I've skimmed through this sub once or twice and I feel like most of the people posting can typically get, like, a smaller dilator in, but I really feel like nothing goes in in my case.

I'm also wondering if there might be a problem with my "understanding" of my anatomy. I've tried with a cosmetic mirror in between my legs, and I just can't see a hole where people say the hole is supposed to be. Is this normal? I've tried to locate my hymen & vaginal opening based on diagrams I found all over the internet but I really feel like I can't. I know, weird, especially since I've been having my period for the last 7 years so there must be SOME opening. And then when I try to push a finger in, nothing yields, basically.

I'm starting to feel really frustrated with my body, looking for any type of feedback / advice from people who've had similar troubles. Thanks all, happy healing :)

EDIT : Just managed to get my pinky in up to the second knuckle with some lube!! It feels so weird that I can do that now, I thought it would be impossible for me. I'm lowkey more excited about this than I am about some of my other achievements in life, hahaha