I genuinely hate myself

I'm a failure to myself and others I can't help my friends enough I've been told most people don't like me it feels like every one avoids me when I know they don't I'm probably insufferable to be around I can't keep the promises I make to myself I don't know why people still hang around me I just want to curl into a ball and leave the world behind i try to be better o try to help people but I'm not even good enough to do that I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every night I'm sick of this body I don't think I can do this that much longer