I feel trapped

Edit: Multiple men have reached out because of this post. If you have nothing helpful to say, please don’t message me privately—you’re being mean.

Nobody knows I have a sugar daddy, so I can’t really talk to anyone about this. It feels like I’ve put myself in a hole deeper than I can climb out of.

If this isn’t the right place for my question, let me know, and I’ll delete the post ASAP. I’m sorry in advance.

I’m 22, a student in my third year of university. I took two gap years because I knew I couldn’t afford it on my own. I’m from Eastern Europe, and there’s no way for me to get a loan without a stable high income—which I don’t have.

I’m also a shy person. Not in a cute way—I’m socially awkward, anxious, and I hate myself most of the time. I don’t think i will ever find a sugar daddy again.

this one found me.

I quit my job (I worked as a waiter). I go to university now. He pays for everything.

I also have a younger brother who plays sports, and he depends on me in so many ways. And I depend on my sugar daddy.

For two years, he’s been kind to me in every way imaginable. I liked him a lot. He’s patient, understanding, and very fair. He usually explains what he wants from me, so what I’m about to say has never happened before:

A week ago, he got jealous over a man who doesn’t exist. I’ve never been with anyone else.

He called me ungrateful. I tried to leave. He twisted my wrist.

It still hurts—not emotionally (though probably that too, I’m not even sure)—but physically. It’s bruised and in pain.

He has dated at least five other women throughout our arrangement. We’re not exclusive in any way, so even if I had dated someone else, his jealousy still wouldn’t make sense. Not that it matters—nothing could justify what he did.

He apologized, promised it would never happen again, and begged me not to leave.

I need advice from someone who’s been in my situation. I know the healthiest thing to do is leave—but has anyone ever stayed, and it actually never happened again?

I feel stuck.

If I leave, I have no way to pay for anything. I won’t have a degree. I still have almost two years left, and he pays for it ten times a year. There’s no way I could afford that, even if I got a job.

So if I leave, I’ll have to start over from square one—just with better clothes.