Ugh

I burned. I saw my ex at a place that he told me could be mine for awhile after he broke up with me. I saw him tonight. I downed my drink and left the place within 10 minutes. I went home and I burned for the first time in over a year. I feel so stupid and worthless. I’ve been through the therapy. I know I shouldn’t. I know how to not. But I just let the feelings overtake me. And I couldn’t stop myself. It was a real shameful moment digging through all my shit to take care of burns because I haven’t done in THAT long. And that feeling made me do it again. What the fuck is wrong with me?