I'm so sick of my overbearing religious mother [40f] controlling every aspect of my [15m] life, even sexuality.
I'm 15 years old, and I live with my mother and older sister (17). My father passed away when I was young, but I remember enough of him to still love him and miss him, but not enough that I felt I ever knew him.
My mother has always been very religious as far as I can remember. I don't have a problem with that, I love religion, I'm religious myself, I believe in God. I mean I ask questions sometimes, but for the most part, I believe in God.
I remember when I was very little, my mum used to take us to Church, taught us how to do the rosary, and used to read us bible stories. Needless to say she is very devout, and I love her for that.
But sometimes she can be incredibly overbearing, especially with regards to sex. It annoys me so much. She basically thinks all sex is evil in any way shape or form unless its to make babies.
She told me masturbation was a sin before I ever even knew what it was, she always told me stuff like I had to confess if I did it otherwise I'd go to hell. I thought it was crazy, but whatever I ignored it. My sister is pretty much an exact replica of her in terms of ideas, she thinks in the same very religious way.
Basically being a 15 year old guy, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. I masturbate and watch pornography, even though my mum has made it clear I'm not allowed to. Personally I don't think its a sin or there's anything wrong with it.
Well two weeks I was caught by my older sister and it was the worst experience of my life. I knew my mum would make my life hell if she found out since she had always told me it was wrong.
I literally cried, cried, and begged my sister not to tell my mum. I told her I was so sorry, I didn't mean to, I'd pray for forgiveness at Church, just don't tell her cause I knew I'd be done for.
Well she ended up blackmailing me for a week, getting me to do shit for her, making my life miserable in general, making me do menial things just because she enjoyed watching me suffer, it got worse and worse until I refused to go any further. And then she told my mum.
I denied everything (lied) and accused my sister of lying instead. My mum made me put my hand on the bible, and then asked me to repeat myself, and then I confessed that it was true.
She took me to the Father at our church, made me go in and confess to all my embarassing sins, made me do the rosary at home every day. She took away my laptop completely, and I have no idea when I'll get it back. Its been nearly 5 days now, I can't go on like this anymore. I know I'm only 15, but I'm a human being, I'm not an animal. I hate being controlled like this, I hate the way she publicly humiliates me like I'm less than human, all because of her fanatic idealism. I CAN'T STAND IT. i'M SO SICK OF IT.
I can't go on any more, how can I cope? What should I do? Is there a way I can get her to change?
tl;dr: Father passed away when I was little. My crazy overbearing religious mother (whom I love) is so controlling over every aspect of my life, is extremely dogmatic, thinks all masturbation and pornography is wrong. I got caught, and my life was made hell as a result, I had to confess in front of the priest for it at Church, and now she's punishing me and making me miserable all because of her backwards views. I can't stand it any more. I feel like I'm starting to hate my family. What can I do? How can I cope with this, or is there a way I can get them to change so my life isn't so miserable?