does anyone else feel VERY hopeless

i graduated three years ago and entered the job market excited to work hard and start my career. i worked my ass off to attend a prestigious but expensive school even though i come from a very low-income family (scholarships, grants, and lots of debt). i thought i was doing the right thing, that i could make my family proud, but it’s becoming clear to me that i royally fucked up. i’m drowning in debt and unable to land anything more than unpaid internships in my desired field. i’m grateful for the experience that internships have given me but it’s just not feasible to continue working for free alongside working to survive.

i’ve always suffered with mental illness and the past few months of job searching has left me feeling incredibly worthless and semi-suicidal. while i understand that my difficulty landing a job should not be considered a moral failure, it truly feels that way. sending off application after application into the void just to later realize that these companies are reposting their listings over and over again to “just see what’s out there” and pat their growth leaves me feeling enraged and SO fucking hopeless. i suppose i just wanted to commiserate, i know it’s brutal out there and i don’t know how some of you stay motivated and positive— i wish i had that in me right now. a life of skipping meals, working minimum wage jobs, and the looming threat of homelessness feels so bleak.