Mother ended up getting emergency ostomy surgery, and I'm incredibly scared.

She was septic, before the surgery and on and off antibiotics. Her colon had twisted on itself and the end portion of it has died. Right now she's on a breathing tube and should regain consciousness tomorrow. I can't help but grieve and mourn because I'm crying on and off the entire day. I know the surgery and intubation wasn't what she wanted, but I've almost lost her 2x this month and I don't want to lose her again.