Lost it all. 😔

18M. Down over $8K trading options in my TFSA, now with a negative balance—completely nuked my portfolio playing earnings on Intel, Tesla (IV crush cooked me more than anything), and SPY 0DTE revenge trades. Not only are these losses non-deductible, but I’ve also permanently lost my TFSA contribution room. The mental toll has been immense, and I’m struggling to cope.

I haven’t told my family, girlfriend, or friends—it’s eating me up inside. I spent my childhood learning about investing, working since 15, and saving everything. I was always the “smart stock guy” in my circle, planning to DCA into the S&P 500 and let compound interest work. But greed, impatience, and boredom got the best of me. Maybe I spent too much time on r/wallstreetbets, maybe I just messed up. Either way, I feel lost, ashamed, and don’t know how to move forward.

I’ve struggled with depression all my life, and this has only made it worse. I have a good university path, tuition covered, and a stable career lined up, but right now, it doesn’t feel like enough. Any advice or words of support would mean a lot. Just trying to hold on.