Been opioid free for nearly 8 years. Still can't sleep for shit. Likely won't ever.

I think beyond the borderline romantic lust and desire and utter emotional, psychological dependence being an out of control opana & dilaudid IV user - the damages caused by the habit that have extended far beyond any/all other withdrawal symptoms have been my bodies ability to get restful sleep. The last major time I had detoxed/forced withdrawal I remember not being able to get a goddamn wink of sleep for roughly 13 nights until I finally couldn't take it and landed a benzo to zonk myself out. I don't think I have had a dream since back when I used opiates, if i do still have dreams they're gone long before the time i wake up. I never sleep longer than a couple hours at a time and falling to sleep always involves thrashing around tossing and turning and never comes easy. I had no idea these withdrawal symptoms would continue to persist long after all others have gone and that I would have to accept it as just a new part of life. But here we are.

To all the weekend warriors, stop before it spirals. If you can go for 12 hours without getting high , without feeling physically helplessly sick- just quit because trust me it only gets worse.

To all the snorters, poppers and boofers who ain't feeling high enough and are thinking about smoking off foil or reaching for a rig and mainlining just to see what all the fuss is about - don't.

The amount of physical anguish and dependence and downright longterm havoc this class of drug does to the human body is simply beyond words and withdrawal is miserable beyond the English languages ability to describe it.

There's so much more to life. Not to sound preachy. Maybe I just need to get some sleep... be safe folks