i don’t want to do it anymore

i can’t do it anymore. i’m so freaking tired and all i want to do is disappear. my baby is 4 weeks old and hasn’t slept in 5 hours. i’ve literally done everything to try to get her to sleep and all she is doing is screaming. i just cannot take it anymore. this is the hardest thing i have ever done and im failing at it.

i see all these posts about “oh just wait till they’re 3 months and they start smiling and giggling”, like that isn’t now. she is not giggling or smiling now. she is not 3 months right now. she is 1 month and screaming at the top of her lungs right now. so it’s really hard to “just wait”.

i feel insanely guilty for wanting to run away and regretting all of this. i miss it being just me and my husband but at the same time, i look at her and i get sad because why on earth would i even think that. i’m so freaking tired. i have no village because we live in another state. it’s just me and my husband.

i cannot do this. this is so hard.

edit: just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement. it helps knowing i’m not the only one going through this and that eventually it will get better. my LO was very overtired and i eventually put her down after 6 hours after reading some of the advice i got. so thanks to everyone. one day at a time❤️