Being in the closet with her

I apologize ahead of time, I’m super long winded.

Let me start by saying 3 months ago I was the partner posting here because I was really scared and anxious and unsure about what this was going to mean. Only 3 months in and I’m so thankful to be on this journey with my partner (mtf) and have already seen positive growth in joy and love in her, myself, and our relationship. I feel fortunate that I’ve known I was bi a long time, so in a way this has been an opportunity to re-embrace my own queerness and the newfound queerness of our relationship together.

She hasn’t told anyone in her life outside of me, and she doesn’t want to until she has had more time to make changes towards being able to “pass” (I know this can be a loaded word/issue I’m sorry) - and she is months and maybe years away from feeling comfortable doing so. We’re still making fun steps like going in a female couples costume for Halloween, but it seems like for the foreseeable future most of the journey is going to happen behind closed doors.

We are also currently planning a wedding that my conservative parents are mostly paying for. Ultimately the decision to come out is hers and I will follow her lead on the pace at which she is ready to tell people. But I feel simultaneously the sentiment of it only matters between us at the end of the day/fuck the haters mixed with some anxiety/sadness that so much of who she is, and therefore our relationship, is most likely going to be in the closet for our wedding when we celebrate the beginning of the rest of our lives together.

I know this is kinda a specific situation, but I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or insight to share on navigating living in the closet with your partner and what the transition out of the closet looked like for you. I also have no idea how my family is going to take it, so as much as I am going to always choose my person over someone else’s bigotry, it’s just tough knowing they may not feel the same way about our relationship and wedding if they knew the whole truth.