There's deadass nothing to rage about in Wilds. That's why we're getting these essays and critical thinkpieces instead of unadulterated shitspewing nervous system-destructinating rage

I just did Lurkin' in the Murk in MHGU a few days ago. I also did Lurkin' in the Murk about two years ago. I also also did Lurkin' in the Murk six years ago when it dropped. You know what's crazy? This mission is still a fucking massive pain in the ass. Yeah, it's been easier since I have experience. Anal is also easier when you already having a gaping asshole from the last session, and guess what, it's still a literal pain in the ass. What's crazier-- this is a fucking village quest. A four-star village quest, and I still rage out like a ketamine-fueled domestic abuser from South Dakota.

Speaking of South Dakota-- you know what's also like South Dakota? Fucking Monster Hunter Wilds, because there's barely shitdick to do out here. I'm half-joking, but really, there's nothing to be frustrated at. Tempered Gore Magala slightly tickles my dick-- but only slightly. Like a light feathering. People are whining that this subreddit tuned into the Washington Post opinion column-- it's because there's no visceral dickwrenching of a lofty magntitude. There ain't no Hyper Silver Rathalos. No Fatalis. No Superdeviant Bloodbath Diablos. I just saw a random DB user get stuck into the most animation-locked combo of all time at 20% HP fighting Tempered Arkveld like he was a cokehead at 3AM at a McDonalds trying to bite a local cop while getting tazed in the jugular. Ain't shit happen to him.

The expansion needs to come out because I've been waiting for years to get my anal cavity pressed into the shape of an Ancient Potion again (yes, including the *). Game is fun, don't get me wrong, but I haven't even gnawed at my controller uncontrollably in the 60+ hours I've played this shit man. And casuals flooding the sub have their panties in a twist complaining in the thread comments that people are shitting on a fucking story character of all things. Capcom, get this shit out ASAP and make these guys piss their pants in excruciating agony.