help i’m 14 years old suffering

okay i’m 14 and in may i started smoking. I am not addicted and i am off it now and i don’t smoke anymore but im worried about the side affects of smoking at a young age. i have horrible memory now and i’m just lost. i don’t know what’s wrong with my brain i just feel so like alone like i don’t know what im feeling but i just feel like a horrible person. my brothers started smoking young and still smokes a shit ton. it broke my moms heart to see him become addicted and it’s breaking hers seeing me smoking. i always feel like shit and i have almost every symptom of anxiety. i don’t know how to explain what anxiety feels like it just feels like i’m so alone i don’t even know bro. you guys think i sound like a stupid minor but help pls