just need confirmation and validation

i am convinced he is a PA. to the point where its ALL i think about him doing.. i hate that. but i also just want confirmation maybe im blowing this out of proportion before i really drop the ball…

we are both in our twenties and have been together coming up close to 4 years. ive caught him multiple times in the other room watching porn, ive found downloaded porn in his computer, a few times in the morning it being the first thing open when i turn his alarm off, TONS of comments to people on reddit pages, asking for free photos from promos, and OF emails. always denies and gets defensive when i catch him. and then he doesnt even like to see me without my shirt on. the ratio to me finding it to us actually being intimate is a huge difference. but then he is so affectionate other wise as of lately…

like maybe im making this a bigger deal then it really is. he’s affectionate and thats newer honestly. is this fear of mine just huge insecurity ? is it normal for cis males to just have a ton of porn saved ?? he also has a very niche fetish if that gives any insight. because ive blamed it on that a bit. but i dont know. i do know that does NOT change how disgusting and unattractive this all has made me.