Struggling with identity

Since a breakup back in 2023 I've been struggling with self confidence and trying to figure out who I am. I've always been relatively quiet and shy. I prefer socializing one on one or in small groups. I feel uncomfortable in large groups particularly because a lot of the time it involves drinking/going out to pubs or bars which is not my thing. The more people there are the quieter I become. I tend just just be a listener or observer and definitely feel drained by these more superficial types of interactions. I don't feel drained by those people I've known a long time or feel very close to.

Once I warm up to people or have known them a longer amount of time I tend to be much more myself or come out of my shell a little bit. I don't have problems with small talk in my job or have issues being in large crowds. I love concerts and big events aren't an issue.

In my last relationship I really struggled with socializing with my ex's friends. The only things he really invited me to was nights out drinking with them. I became less inclined to socialise in college during and after COVID and isolated myself a lot from my peers. This never bothered me at the time but looking back I have regrets about turning down invitations to things. The reason he ended our relationship was because he wanted a partner who would join him or who he could share his social life with and I would say no too often. I didn't realise how badly this was impacting our relationship. I couldn't really work to fix it as we were doing long distance and only saw each other every 3-4 months. I am wondering has anyone else had this issue. Is this more of an anxiety thing or do people with introversion share these traits. I feel like I have both social anxiety and introversion. I also feel like my low self confidence massively affected my desire to put myself out there and try harder to interact with people.

I guess I feel like I failed him as a partner. I have been making massive strides to push myself to get to know new people and try new things. I'm trying to do better and not hold myself back anymore because I feel like I've missed out on a lot. Any thoughts on this or do this resonate with anyone?!