Cameras Caught Gossip

Me (27 F) and my husband (28 M) have had a tough relationship with his family. It started with a lot of drama with his mom which stemmed into her talking shit about us to the rest of the family. We recently had our first baby in June and of course, this has made everything just a bit more complicated. Family has had issues with: 1. Us not wanting hospital visitors 2. Having very minimal visitors for the first 2 months 3. Not wanting anyone smoking around the baby (his whole family are chain smokers) None of his family have checked in, offered any help, asked to see the baby, etc. but are very bitter that we haven’t invited them. I had a very hard postpartum, struggling with PPA and their constant complaints have really contributed to that.

Since having the baby, my husband has been excellent at standing up for us and being the bad guy with his family. All communication with his family goes through him and he’s not afraid to piss people off for the good of his primary family (him, me and baby).

My husbands birthday was last week and every year we have his family over for a little party. Even though things have been tough with them, we thought it might be a nice way to try to smooth things over. We went back and forth with it for a while but ultimately agreed to do it.

My husband sent out a group text the week before with the invite and just asking that no one smoke at our house, even outside. This was because 1. We didn’t want people smoking then coming in and being around or holding baby. 2. Last year they left cigarette butts all over our yard and our dogs tried to eat them which we didn’t want to happen again.

There was no pushback at all. Everyone came over and it was fine. Then after, my husband checked our ring cameras and saw his grandpa go outside multiple times to smoke. One of which he went outside and our doorbell camera caught him telling an uncle “don’t tell them I’m smoking, they said we’re not allowed to” to which the uncle responded with saying “who do they think they are” and calling us controlling. As everyone was leaving, it caught more family members making fun of us and laughing at us. Less than 5 minutes after the grandpa smoked, he came in and held the baby.

A lot of our issues with his family in the past have centered around them not treating us like adults, not taking us seriously and just being very disrespectful. We are very upset that the only thing we asked was mocked and not taken seriously.

Now we are wondering what to do next. Do we say something? Or just keep quiet? If we say something, it will likely start a lot of drama. If we don’t, this will just continue to happen. We are super torn.