Failed to break into my dream industry, completely lost now

So long story short, I've dreamed virtually all of my adult life about a career in academia (humanities and social studies to be precise). I don't want to get too boggled up in the details, but I failed to get into grad school three years In a row (the competition here in eu is kinda insane), and at this point I'll most likely never have a chance to try again. I'm not saying this in some form of negative self talk, it's just sadly how things are. That path is no longer available for me.

I was honestly devastated, as this was pretty much the only thing I wanted to do with my career. There's really no 'job' or career that I want to follow. I currently work in SEO, but I absolutely hate it and the last couple of years have easily been the most miserable and depressing part of my life, to the point where I'm thinking about offing myself on almost daily basis. I have a bunch of hobbies, I do sports and have a healthy diet etc. but it feels like my life is completely hollow and going nowhere. It's just day in, day out, spend 8 hours doing boring shit and then maybe do something else in the evening.

I'm genuinely, completely lost. I hate this, but I also don't know what I can change to make it slightly bearable. I guess I'd like to maybe hear from others who were in this spot what did they do.