6 month clean ex-addict here, please give me reasons not to relapse oh fuck

starting off with yes i’m already browsing the subreddit but i want direct help tko

something really bad just happened and i am in an episode of psychosis or mania as a result idk etc (idc about psychiatric disorders and drug use not being safe i did it for 2 years and yeah i might be worse off now but happier in drugs!!!)

and i’m close to ordering a bottle of 100 r30s for the first time in 6 months

i can’t take being sober but please give me the reminders that some of you active users experience on the daily as result

i was doing 1st-2nd rarely 3rd plat daily for weeks straight if that helps with only a few day break before going again