Aright dragons, listen up:

Learned draconic just to say this, so gimme your ear holes, wouldja?

Look, I’m flattered that some of you think humans are cute n’ all, and it sure beats getting picked out of your teeth. But as a guy got stuck as a pet for two weeks and then grabbed again for another month after I’d gotten home free, WOULD YOU KINDLY QUIT SNATCHING US OUT OF OUR FIELDS??? WE AIN’T FREE REAL ESTATE! I mean we got our own lives, people! What makes you think kidnapping us is okay?

Pass it along, wouldja? I’d like to come out of hiding.