Writing too much and scaring people off

"I apologize for such a long letter—I didn't have time to write a short one."

This happens to me a lot. I start talking to someone, and if they seem interesting, I want to share a lot. I want to go beyond surface-level. I want to be understood, and at the same time, I want to understand them as deeply as possible and gain as much information about them as possible. They become my new research topic. But I also wanna discuss various things with them.

I end up sharing insights from all kinds of different fields, asking tons of questions about them.. But then… it overwhelms them. And they ghost. And then I do it again with someone new.

The thing is, I love reading long essays from others and I love sharing thoughts, no matter how "unrelated" they might seem. To me, it's not chaos—everything is connected.

I don’t know if this is a neurodivergent thing or a trauma thing. But please tell me there are more people like this. I don’t want to cut my words down just to seem "acceptable" or "not too much." And yet, I keep feeling like I'll first have to radically tone myself down just to get some connection.

It makes me feel " Maybe I should just give up on dating and pour all my thoughts into my research instead—at least then, someone might actually want to read them. 🤣"