How to attend a class you haven't joined since the start, in need of advice please

Problem/Goal: I haven't been attending my NSTP subject since the start of class (aka January) we have it every Saturday. I know this may sound like I'm lazy pero I haven't been doing well mentally, I don't know what the cause of it is but it's starting to affect me really badly when the 2nd semester started. I only do well on my major subjects at the moment. I currently have 8 absences now and I'm scared to reach out to my prof and apologize for not attending his class. I want to try and request permission on doing missed school works but they already submitted the prelim and midterms grades.

Context: I am a 1st year college student who did well during 1st semester. But as soon as 2nd semester started, I was getting sloppy with my school work.

Previous Attempts: I tried to go yesterday but my anxiety was so bad and I was alone that time with no one to help me. So I decided to not go at the last minute to calm down. I am scared of being judged and possibly yelled at by a teacher for my actions, I know this may out so unreal but I was bullied by a teacher during JHS that I had to change schools. I don't have anyone to talk to about my problems, please help a student out po. 🙏