my brain doesn't let me love anyone.. what's wrong with me

made this post yesterday, but I added some more to it and am still looking for answers. I'm kinda realizing that this is probably something I can't influence or change at all.. but idk my brain wants answers even tho I prolly won't find any.

i'm not even really sure how to describe this, but I've literally never once in my life had any romantic attraction to anyone. I can see and recognize physical attractiveness, or recognize whether someone would be a good partner, or just generally enjoy people as friends, and like their personality, etc, but I've literally never "liked" someone even as a kid. i'm 17 now but I just don't get what's wrong with me, everyone else is always talking abt someone they like or want or someone they're alrd with and I just don't get why that part of my brain just doesn't fucking exist. like i've literally seen and helped most of my friends with or through getting with people they liked, and watched everything, the cute dates, puppy love, yada yada, encouraged them the whole way, etc. worst part is my best friend got a bf recently, same situation with her, I watched, heard abt and encouraged her the whole way, and now I barely get to talk to her either. (not saying she's doing anything wrong, just saying). so now I just feel like I don't got anyone even while i'm surrounded by friends (cus even most of them have partners that they spend most of their time with now) meanwhile everyone around me has a partner and my fuckass brain doesn't let me experience that or have that for anyone. now as a chopped ass 17 year old guy do I think I'd ever be able to get in a relationship rn even if it did let me have those feelings? no. but it still sucks knowing that my brain just doesn't feel romantic attraction even tho I have a deep want to both give and receive it. plus missing out on teenage love both cus of this and cus of not looking great is a tough pill to swallow too. I'm not emotionally unavailable or anything, I have a want to love and to be loved but, I just don't get what the FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME. it makes me feel almost like.. not fully human, or not normal. plus on top of that like.. my chances of getting in a relationship are alrd low cus of how I look, which I can't change but with this.. I don't feel romantic feelings, or haven't at least, so as much as I want it, my brain won't let me have it and it's genuinely pissing me off like.. I don't get it.. what's wrong with me? why am I like this? I just don't fucking understand. the responses from my last posts suggested I may be aromantic or some sub category of aromantic, but I don't wanna be that, I alrd hate this, and I don't wanna be like this my whole life. and the possibility of me being like this the rest of my life is the part that gets to me the most. I can't be like this, I don't want to, and I'll never be able to accept or justify it to myself if this is just how i'm meant to be my whole life. I already have a deep want to experience romance, and knowing there's a possibility that I'll have to handle wanting something i'll never be able to get hits hard. like I said at the beginning, I know there's a good chance that this isn't something I can do anything abt besides wait but.. I'm just tryna see if there is an explanation at least, or anything I can do