Unbroken Enigma.

I haven’t slept… I can’t. My eyes are closed, but my mind refuses to switch off. It replays our happiest memories like an old film reel on loop of the best parts. And I’ve wondered; do you ever do the same? I wonder if, even for a moment, does your mind drift back to me too?

But in those sleepless nights, I’ve realised something.

I misunderstood everything.

You were an enigma I thought I’d deciphered; the unspoken words and your quiet hesitations. I thought I understood it all. But now, I see the truth: I never did. And I’m so, so sorry.

You wanted security, stability, consistency… to feel safe. And when my life took a turn beyond my control, I could no longer give that to you.  I was the one who reacted, and I blamed you for everything. But it was never your fault: it was mine.

I see it now. It was never about what material items I could, or couldn’t, give you. It was about what I took away.

Having this void where you once stood has given me so much emptiness… and yet so much clarity. I thought you just wanted the material things. How wrong I was. I’m so incredibly ashamed of myself, but I’m man enough to admit it.

Please forgive me my darling. I love you so much.

I gave you a second chance once before; will you find it in your heart to give me mine? I’m reaching out to you again right now. One final time.

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