He started choking me during our first kiss.

I'm not sure how much the details really matter here. This was our second date, he hadn't even attempted to kiss me after our first date. We had absolutely hit it off, both dates continued for hours after dinner because we just enjoyed sitting there talking & getting to know each other. He walked me to my car, hugged me good night, then went in for a kiss while he's arms were still wrapped around me. I wanted to kiss him too. Within seconds he become very forceful, pushing me against my car and putting his hand around my neck. He continued trying to make out with me, but I definitely wasn't participating. He tried choking me harder before he recognized how freaked out I was. He apologized and blamed having one to many beers, saying he had just gotten ahead of himself. I was basically in an auto pilot mode, being polite and agreeable until I was finally alone in my car where I bursted into tears.

This was a couple of days ago. My neck isn't bruised, but there is some discoloration and broken blood vessels. My concern at this point isn't really about him, or men at all. I'm just so disappointed in how I responded to the situation. I've experienced various assaults and types of harassment, and every time I'm suppose to have a fight or flight response, my body freezes up. My mind will be screaming, but I'll smile and say anything I have to until it feels safe to exit a situation. I'm sure there are various explanations for this type of response, but I'm left feeling completely betrayed by my body. I've put so much effort into learning how to respond differently and sometimes it feels like I've made progress, but then a situation like this shows me that I'm still exactly where I started. I suppose I'm mostly writing just to vent, but I'm curious if other women have the same type of response, and if they were able to accept it about themselves & turn it into a strength or if they were able to overcome it & really learn to stand their ground.