i’m mourning the four years that i thought i was going to have

i’m going to be 24 next month and it’s been a goal of mine to have my first child by 28. my relationship is stable, we’re both going to grad school, making decent money. everything was looking fine and i was excited for the future.

now i am considering renewing my birth control two years earlier than it is set to expire so that it will last through the next four years, after my 28th birthday.

it boils down to the fact that even if the pregnancy is wanted, i don’t feel safe to carry it. if a life threatening complication occurs, i could be left to die.

i hate that i have to put my life and my goals on pause for these people. i hate that women are scared and dying from this. i hate that this is something that’s been allowed to happen in our country.

it’s a very sad reality when even the women that WANT children don’t feel safe enough to have them. my heart is breaking for myself and for everyone who has been impacted by this.