i started watching the ewu bodycam video about isaiah trammell and i had to turn it off. i've never, ever had to do that for any ewu video, ever, no matter how graphic it is.

i'm autistic too, and i have severe mental illnesses myself. since i'm posting here, that shouldn't come as much of a surprise. but i just related so much to isaiah in the beginning of the video. he just wanted to make a good life for himself. he had nobody. nobody to support him or help him or listen to him. and when the very people who were sworn to protect and serve were called to his place, they took him to jail instead of a hospital, where they mocked and belittled and tormented and laughed at him. and now he's dead.

i almost started crying when he was on the floor begging and crying and pleading not to be put in the restraint chair.

i have NEVER had that reaction to any ewu video before, no matter how graphic or heartbreaking it had been. i think it's because i saw myself in isaiah.

i hope he rests easy. i hope his pain is gone. i hope he feels nothing but comfort and peace. that's what he deserves after the hell he went through.

he wasn't even twenty years old before he died.