I was raped by my coworker/friend’s husband last night. I can’t stop thinking about ending it all.

Title pretty much sums it up. Have a coworker that I clicked with. Went over to her house and had some drinks and danced. My friend went to bed. Shortly thereafter, her husband got on me and started taking my pants off. Then started to rape me. I said no and that I didn’t want this. Tried to push him away. He wouldn’t stop. He finished without protection.

I’m absolutely horrified. I have no one to talk to about this. I’ve been sitting in bed sobbing all day. I feel so fucking gross and disgusting. I can’t shake the anxiety. I feel like I’m about to have a nervous breakdown. I managed to go to the store and got Plan B. I was already feeling very depressed lately but after this whole ordeal, I feel like taking myself out really sealed the deal for me.

Also I’m gay and have a girlfriend of 7+ years and I’m horrified to tell her. She will be so upset. All of this is too much to handle. I can’t function right now.

The friend/coworker of mine also has two little girls with this guy. I know it’s the right thing to do, but a report would probably absolutely shatter their family. They have their parents from out of the country that are moving in with them soon. If I spoke up I’d ruin everything for them. Then I’m worried about how I’m supposed to work with the coworker with a straight face and act like everything if fine. Then I’m worried that I’m fucking pregnant… there’s no way I can take care of nor want a child this time in my life. I also couldn’t carry my rapists child. That absolutely haunts me. I didn’t want any of this to happen. I wish I could reverse time. I’m at a complete loss and I’m totally broken.