Who do you live for?

It’s been one week since I’ve lost my big brother. It’s been one week since our loving and wonderful mother lost her son. One week since his caring wife lost her husband. My mind has been running constantly, my grief coming in waves.

I’m thinking of all the what ifs, and I know that’s no use, because it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. What does it matter? He’s gone. He’s gone?

He was such a light. He made an impact on so many lives. As I think about that, it makes me so sad that he didn’t live for himself. I’m so sad that he didn’t live for his wife, his friends, or his beloved pets. I’m heartbroken that he didn’t live for me or our mom, especially after we lost our father to cancer 4 years ago.

I’m going to live for him. I’ll live for our mother. I’ll live for my friends and family. I’ll live for myself.

Who do you live for?