The obsession with passing to me is very man brained.

I know people aren't gonna entirely agree with this because trans girls for whatever reason have a knack for being difficult when receiving REAL criticism about who they are as a person, not just as something to LOOK AT. But I'm not saying it to be agreed upon, as a REAL bitch I'm saying it because it's true and some girls NEED to hear it, but rather you wanna accept that is your own choice to make.

No woman, cis included who has internalized their womanhood as innately valid is obsessing over how feminine and girly they look. When they are, that is a product of misogyny and men, and women who do subject other women to it unprompted, are just doing their dirty work. The most annoying thing to me is, most of the girls who do pass just do. They're not harassing other girls constantly about passing, they're not ranting about girls who don't, they're not clocking every girl they see who looks slightly androgynous. It's literally only the girls who don't truly believe they're a woman or that other trans women are women who do this. It's also such a flat perception of our gender expression, not only as women but as trans women..

A lot of girls simply CANNOT pass. Rather that's by design, or because they can't afford to. And that is okay and they are still worthy of being respected. If cis women are allowed to be clocky and unpassable- trans women should give ourselves and our sisters the same grace. I very strongly believe any girl who is tormenting other girls and herself about passing has deeper issues with her gender and self perception than just passing. It's abnormal to obsess over looks so much. It goes without being said for most trans women that passing is important, or that it matters to people. It's actually a life long process we have to go through to compartmentalize that in a healthy and graceful way. The constant nagging at other girls for not passing is so self reporting to me. Sister eugh.

Beyond this all, there's healthy and non dysfunctional ways to guide your sisters beyond being annoying and naggy. But sometimes that isn't your place. A lot of trans girls such as myself, only will accept criticism from people who I value to hear it from. Not from some random ass girl online projecting what she thinks I should look like and CAN look like. We are ALL fully aware as trans women how we present matters to some extent, not only socially but systemically as well. The constant bullying of other girls is just over kill. And to me it seems more like an attempt at being behind the gun than in front of it.

I'm also not going back and fourth with any girl disagreeing but you're more than welcomed to be upset and blow off steam by yourself in the comments. I will not entertain it personally though.