Unbelievable how better men treat me when they don't know I'm trans

Do whatever you want with this piece of information. It's not a humble bragging (it's actually the opposite). Men just treat you differently when they don't know you're trans. Even the most open-minded men put you in a different mental box once they know you're trans. All of your physical and behavioral qualities will be seen through the lens of your transness. Your transness supersedes everything else you have going for you. It's almost as if people (men and women) saw you differently once they know you're trans. I truly wish things weren't like this, but they are, so don't shoot the messenger.

For example, more guys than you imagine will be down for sex (especially the guys who say that trans women are gross), but all the chivalry will be gone and they won't spend money on you.

I wish I could be open and let my guard down around cis women and just be able to enjoy their company, but I can't. The minute I tell them I'm trans, they'll see me as a guy, even if they'll say they accept me and they will use the right pronouns. But if there were a small disagreement, even over some silly stuff, they would immediately call me a man.