[QCrit] Last Breath of Summer - Psychological Thriller (120K - 1st attempt)

Hello everyone,

I've been learning a lot from this community. I've reached out to several of my top agent choices, but unfortunately, I only seem to be receiving rejection letters in return. Any feedback you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

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Dear, Agent,

It is with great pleasure that I present LAST BREATH OF SUMMER, a psychological thriller at 121k words. This novel follows three best friends on a cross-country road trip as they journey to uncover the secrets of Crestwood Manor. Standing in their way is a serial killer possessed by a demon, a bully with a score to settle, and an ancient entity who will stop at nothing to get them.

Set in the late ‘90s in the small town of Envy, CO, the story follows Ethan Summers, Melody Belmont, and Jason Tanner as they share a lifetime of tragic experiences that bond them. Fearing they will grow apart when going off to their respective colleges, Ethan pitches one final adventure before opening their college acceptance letters: a quest to find the fabled haunted house known as Crestwood Manor and to uncover the secrets hidden within its walls. With their Best Friends Bucket List in hand, they set out on the bumpy road, and along the way, they run into new friends, old bullies, a serial killer, and within Crestwood an ancient entity ready to not only end their friendship—but their lives as well.

As the group makes their way to Crestwood Manor, their loyalty, both young and old, is put to the test in this masterfully written tale that explores deeply intimate issues we’ve so often ignored through the stages of life. Our characters face the adversity that comes from growing up in dysfunctional households during this pivotal time period, as well as reaching for the promise of the wish granting golden river at Crestwood Manor. Their desire to overcome any obstacles in their path keeps them on this journey… maybe for forever.

[Bio]

Sincerely,

[Name]
[Phone Number]

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PROLOGUE

Happy Birthday

Ethan could barely open his eyes, which seemed to roll back like they were trying to read his brain. The swelling on his face made it feel like an autumn plum, and his eyes seemed just ripe enough for the harvest. In truth, he felt like his eyes were begging to fall out of their sockets. His face was a mixture of red and purple bruises with a fresh dirt finish. His stomach growled, not from an empty stomach but from lingering pain. This was indeed a strange situation to have found himself in, but the weirdest part was that, for a moment, he had no clue why he was even here.

He smelled pumpkin pie as his nose scraped against the scratchy wooden floor. He had the faintest memory that Melody had made it for his birthday. The pie wasn’t great, but the gesture it sent meant the world to him, a world that now seemed to be upside down.

Ethan took a deep breath through his nose, smelling the dust and leaf-covered wooden flooring, accompanied by the disgusting familiar scent of black licorice lingering in this room like sage burning in a new home.

Ethan’s eyes finally opened to a blur. He realized this place was familiar; sacred; this place belonged to him and his family. Ethan knew every poorly hammered plank and sheet rack that made up this place; after all, it was he and his friends who’d built this place.

The construction of this clubhouse took their entire summer to finish. From sunrise to sundown, they carried mountains of material from the scrapyard across town to the edge of the forest. This endeavor was time-consuming but worth it. At the end of summer, they finally had a place of their own;