Feeling down considering relapsing don't know what to do

Don't know really where else to post and I don't have anyone to vent to but just been feeling down and lonely lately having crazy relapse urges having a ruff time. Been clean from findom for couple months to save up to get a drone and start doing drone work try to make something of myself but idk just feel like it's not even worth it at this point. Findom is constantly in my mind for some reason 🤦 again sorry for the Debbie downer post.