Hit me with book recos (Dad with two daughters)

Dad here...I've hit a wall and realized I can't get through this phase without help :)

I'm looking for book recommendations and how to exhibit patience while my daughter (11) is throwing every insult my way! My natural tendencies is to throw it right back and this temporary phase is starting to feel much more permanent.

I have a 9yr old daughter that is all about me. I could do no wrong. So, really I'm getting both ends of the spectrum and I'm utterly confused.

Help!