Lost my virginity while traveling!

Please don’t repost.

I lost my virginity a few months ago, and looking back, I've done a lot of reflecting. At the time, I was 24, and I guess I had a different idea of what my first time would be like, especially with my cultural background in the Philippines. I had always imagined it happening with someone I truly loved, but life took me in a different direction.

The person I was with was physically quite different from me…he was tall (6'4) and I’m a lot shorter.

Raw. He wasn’t gentle at all. We tried hard positions (I don’t even finger myself).

I think the experience could’ve been a lot more gentle and thoughtful. There wasn’t really any aftercare or tenderness, and I ended up feeling hurt afterward physically. I even had a fever for a couple of days, which I now realize was my body’s way of telling me it wasn’t handled as carefully as it should have been (?)

It’s strange, because at the time, I tried to convince myself that it was just “hot” or “exciting,” but I can’t help wishing things had been different, gentler, and more in tune with what I needed. Now, I’m learning more about myself and what I deserve in relationships… something deeper, more considerate, and loving. It’s a journey, but I’m glad I can look back and reflect on it with a clearer understanding of what it should feel like.

Edit: Thank you so much for calling me out, and I truly appreciate your concern. I just want to clarify that it wasn’t a one-night stand; we actually spent a couple of days together before things progressed. Honestly, I wasn’t used to condoms at the time, and it just felt better without one in the moment.

Even though this happened a few months ago and I feel fine now, I want to make sure I’m being proactive and get checked to be 100% sure..I want to be responsible and take care of myself. :) A reminder for the girlies out there too! Stay safe!!!!