I want to have OCD

I'm (15f) sick.It's sick. I know i'm fucking sick. Every time after I get home from the street I have to go to the shower and spend at least 1.5 hours there. I can't touch things in my house because if I touch them my hands will get dirty again and I'll have to wash them. I constantly have these fucking sexual images in my head at the most unpredictable moments that ruin everything. OCD is ruining my life. And at the same time I don't want it to stop. Because I have OCD I feel like I have a decent reason to feel bad. A decent reason to feel sorry for myself. I'm so fucking weak. I'm just pathetic. I want to tell someone that I have OCD. That my hands are so dry that they're all in cracks and the skin is peeling off. That I can't eat properly because I'm afraid of leaving this dirt on the plates my family will eat off of. That I take pills so that at least some of these thoughts don't bother me. I want someone to tell me that it's horrible. That I'm strong for keep going through this. That they're proud of me. I want them to hug me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. I hate it. I want to stop feeling like this. I know it's disrespectful and hypocritical to everyone who suffers from OCD. But I can't understand why. Why do I want this so badly? Is there anyone here with similar feelings?