I snapped at my baby and feel so lost

So today is my birthday and maybe I'm expecting too much. Started the day at 6:30am having to pump (exclusive pumper) and feed by 6m old son at the same time while my husband slept next to me. All the while baby is fussing and fighting, "melting" out of his boppy, trying to get out and roll. I thought okay, fine, husband has to go to work at 8.30am so whatever. I'm sure he'll help me after he comes back from work at 3.00pm to give me a break.

He comes home at 4:00pm and asks me if he can have a nap. I say okay but please come watch baby at 4.30 so I can pump, he says okay.

4:35 and still no sight of husband. I sigh and put on my pump, try to feed LO at the same time. LO is kicking the shit out of my arm, making it red. I'm funing internally. Husband finally appears at 4:45 to take LO. I tell him dont bother. I'm so close to breaking point here. He just says okay and goes back upstairs to nap/bedrot. Then LO fights the bottle and me. I've had enough and I lose it. I say in a loud voice "STOP". I pick him up and put him in his playpen so I can take a breath. Husband heard me so he comes downstairs and asks what's wrong. I don't say anything and he loses his shit yelling at me, "Why don't you talk, why don't you say anything? Just fucking talk!"

At this point I'm blank and all I can see is rage and basically not wanting to be present anymore. I bang my head against the door over and over. He tells me to stop after a while and asks me to tell him what's wrong. I tell him "YOU". Basically telling him that he does nothing to help out and he says "you never ask". I told him at least one fucking day of the year on my birthday, he could have made the effort of actually coming to help when I asked him. For context I do 100% of the cooking and cleaning plus house stuff, shopping and taking care of baby. Also still contributing to financially almost half using my saved money to keep us able to pay our mortgage.

He just doesn't get it. Now on the way to birthday dinner with family with a giant bruise on my head in silence 🫠

EDIT: Woah, thanks for all the replies. It's a breath of fresh air to not be in my own head and have such a variety of view points. Yes it was a shitty situation. This morning he actually took LO when he woke up at 6:30am, got the morning bottle from the fridge for the first time. Tried to sleep at the same time as feeding LO which kind of pisses me off but I had to remind myself he's actually doing something so be grateful.

For those asking he runs his own karate gym so goes to teach in the afternoons and Saturday mornings. He does one or two PT sessions in the week where he has to wake up at 7:15am. One thing I should probably mention is early on when I was about 2 weeks pp I asked him if he could just watch LO for 20min while I could go brush my teeth and shower while he's at home. Also asked if he could take one of the wakeups when LO was waking up during the night after I had done about a week of waking up 3x each night. His reply to both was, "if I do that then you better get ready to go back to work early, my business will fail if I'm not rested enough." This has really stuck with me. I took 8 months of maternity leave, and had nightmares about telling work I had to come back early. Thankfully LO has been a great sleeper except for the regression he had a few days ago where he woke up every hour or two to practice crawling in his crib then getting mad and unsettled which probably explains why I'm so drained.

I definitely think counselling is the way to go so we can both see each other's side a bit better. Pumping puts me in such a bad state, yesterday made it clear I need to wean for my own mental sake.