Anyone else feel this way

I have this fear in my head telling me what if I’m not trans what if this is a mistake. (My first hrt appointment is on the 30th) I feel so unsure now. Kinda feel like being trans is a trauma response from all the shit from when I was a kid. Most of the men in my family hurt me in some way. But I’ve always kinda had these feelings. And I never truly liked my body or voice. There are times I do sometimes but then always go back to wanting it to be different. Has anyone else felt like this or gone through hrt and felt this way.