Am I a good candidate?

Hi all- I’m trans, ADHD, and have depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, and autism. I have heard amazing things about psilocybin, but have also been afraid of drugs in the past. It took me over a year of living with my husband who smokes weed regularly to feel comfortable smoking for the first time, and while I was terrified of losing my white knuckle grip of control over my life, I’ve only had positive or neutral experiences with weed.

Fungi, culturally and scientifically, have always fascinated me. I’m writing a book about a fungi-filled apocalypse, I partially named myself after a mushroom, and I do believe that mycelium should be considered the dominant species on earth. More and more, I’ve considered taking a dose. My husband also has pretty easy access. I’ve listened to podcasts, seen documentaries, and read about psilocybin studies and at home recreational use.

What I’m afraid of is: I’ve heard that it can permanently change your outlook on life. My outlook isn’t great, but I’m scared that it’ll permanently make things even worse. I also know the more anxious you are, the worse it can be. A lot of people talk about reliving memories, but a lot of my memories are bad. My husband said he’s willing to try some first, as I am much better at calming others, and have me witness his experience and make my own decision. I’m also capable of overcoming fears- I give myself shots once a week, came out to my parents twice, have multiple piercings and tattoos- so I’m not worried I’ll be anxious about it forever.

Long story short- would you recommend it for someone like me?