Summarizing Jamie and Dave's experience

I went back to the beginning, and watched all the Jamie/David clips. It really looks like Dave was smitten with Jamie, and was committed to the process. In his interviews before the wedding, he wanted a spitfire who would pull him out of his shell. In all his interactions with the others, he was bright and lively and engaged. He looks up to the ceiling whenever he has big emotions.

1st commitment ceremony, everything good, they both are affirming each other.

2nd commitment ceremony, both affirmed each other, everything good from both of them.

3rd commitment ceremony, Jamie says the "I"m a ride or die for the people I love" and when asked if she is falling in love with Dave, she says "I think we're on a good path." When Dave is asked, he says, "I care about her so much, and yeah, the feelings are there, I am filled with excitement." Both look to each other when they are talking.

4th commitment ceremony, Jamie gushes about their connection, and Dave says he feels all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Both talk about thinking about the future and what life will be like with the other. Both look to each other when they are talking, and affirm each other.

5th Commitment ceremony, after the retreat. Jamie in hot seat, Dave does not have his arm around her like in all the CC's before this, but does have hand on her leg. Dave is quiet and I took it to be respectful support to her, rubbing his thumb on her knee when she is receiving the challenges from the experts. Jamie says, "I feel like I have let Dave down." I took his quiet stoicism to be him supporting her, even though she was in the wrong, and bearing witness to her coming to terms with her actions. It seemed like he "had her back." Then Jamie talks about how he supported her through the difficult week, and confessed to saying "I love you." Dave is quiet, he isn't looking at her when she looks at him and talks to him. When asked if he thinks he'll get there (to the "love" part), he says, "This experiment, we've really done it properly, we really have. I don't think you can do this properly and not fall in love." Jamie says, "I know that is in him, and will come to the surface" He nods and smiles.

At the beginning of the feedback week, Jamie and Dave are talking, she is remorseful and reflective, and he tells her that he knows who she is, and that she is a good person with a good heart. It is this little clip that reinforces how much he reflects her mood/space. His quiet reflection has a lot to do, I think, with her toned down energy.
Dave says in video that he was caught by surprise with the love thing, and that it takes him longer to say those words.
When Jamie and Dave come back together after feedback week, and Jamie reads her letter, Dave shares on private camera how it took him aback that she talked about this with Adrian. Clearly it violated his sense of trust and safety in their "we've got each other's backs" circle. He tells Jamie that his heart hurts a little bit. As they talk, he keeps expressing how hurt he is that she is questioning his feelings. It is in this conversation that I see them fall apart, because neither one is "seeing" the other and having empathy for the other's feelings. They both retreat into their hurt, and can't support the other. The fracture occurs. They interrupt each other and don't listen, just talk at each other. They finally come to the first area where they don't agree or support each other. At dinner party, they are still alone in their respective hurts, and unable to support each other.

I hope that somehow the experts are able to help them talk, hear each other, and reconnect.