A fic where literally everybody gets bashed

Dumbledore binded Harry’s magical core and dosed him with loyalty potions. He also sealed the potter wills because he knew Sirius was the real secret keeper.

Harry is an arrogant, attention-seeking quidditch jock. Basically he’s the other Potter kid in a WBWL fic.

Hermione is an authority worshiper who’s being paid by Dumbledore to be Harry’s friend.

Ron is a huge idiot and a slob. Also, he becomes a death eater, despite hating all Slytherins because they’re “slimy snakes”

Molly is stealing money from the Potter vaults.

Ginny is dosing Harry with love potions.

Draco is still a blood purist and a spineless coward.

Voldemort is a huge idiot who can’t go five minutes without crucio-ing a death eater.

Sirius is super impulsive and runs headfirst into danger, dragging Harry with him.

Snape is also a terrible person who enjoyed torturing and killing people when he was a death eater.