I lost it today.

I just just quit.

I signed out and talked to my sup and told her I'm struggling mentally. I told her that this job is impacting my mental health and my relationship with my husband/family. My sup is great. She told me to take 30 minutes and get some fresh air and talk to her again after I calmed down. I took her advice and signed out personal and walked outside.

20 minutes later I get a call from my supervisor and she said that my manager called and wanted to know why I'm on personal for so long. I told my sup I'll come back. I signed back on and my my manager sends me a webex and he said he wants to talk to me. I called him and he wanted to make sure I knew personal was strictly for bathroom emergencies and if I "abuse" it again, I will be forced to RTO and make up anything over 45 minutes a week. I've never abused personal. Occasionally I'll take a 16 minute break or 50 minute lunch but maybe 2 times a month. I have never used FMLA except for when I was pregnant. I'm a 4.6 rated employee.

I couldn't take it. I had an outburst and said "I quit" while talking to my manager. I didn't mean it. I was not thinking rationally. I didn't even realize the words were coming out of my mouth. They were in my head and they just came out. At this point, I was literally bawling. My manager said "OK, I'll have HR contact you to get your equipment." He never asked if I was ok. He didn't tell me to think about it...just asked for my stuff. I don't know what I'm going to do. I NEED my job, but I can't do it. Do you think that if I write a letter to my manager that he will let me un-quit? I'm scared right now. I'm an emotional wreck and I'm usually very stable. I have never had a mental breakdown before but I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I wasn't rude or anything...but once you say "I quit" is that it?