DAE NOT want to be noticed?

Not in a sense of like, trying to hide your funkiness per se. I straight up do not want people to notice weight I've lost after I've lost it for example. "You've lost weight", shut up please, I do not want to be perceived. I don't want people to notice my eating habits. I don't want comments about it, or me, at all. I just want to wear hoodies everywhere, but its getting too hot here.

I feel like it really isn't their business and that kind of interpersonal vulnerability is frankly terrifying. Besides, I am downright embarrassed as fuck about this.

This has manifested in some shit. Like, I go for walks either in the wee hours of the morning or late at night, when very few people are out. Pretty much the only thing that stalls my compulsion towards exercise seems to be the prospect of running into somebody I know and having to explain myself (even though like, I'm just going on a walk from their perspective, right?)

Simultaneously, I would like to be able to talk about it with someone. So it is really weird that while I would like to talk about it, I would not want anyone to know.

How's that for cognitive dissonance. Lol