autistic burnout
hi everyone, im mainly seeking advice but this is also a bit of a vent. obligatory im on mobile disclaimer.
i am currently really struggling with autistic burnout. i am in my final semester of undergrad, and i am supposed to start my one year of grad school in the fall, but i have been in burnout since October. i am so busy and overwhelmed. i feel like i cant slow down because im so close and everyone around me is basically just telling me to push through until im done with school but i dont know if i can. its not like people just accept “i just cant” as a reason for anything.
im exhausted. i have to spend hours everyday just sitting in my room with my weighted blanket. i cant cook, nor can i go to the store, nor can i spend money on delivery, so i just eat nothing because its easier. i can barely make plans with people, many of my friendships are deteriorating in front of my eyes (which is made worse bc i live a bit farther from downtown of my city so many of my friends dont want to come to me but i physically cannot come to them in my current state). i keep missing assignments deadlines and i can barely dress myself. i have so many tasks i need to do and i can’t do them. i have 5 cavities i need to have drilled because brushing my teeth and flossing is a sensory nightmare. transitioning from task to task takes longer and longer.
im in the social work program at school, and its work i am so incredibly passionate about, but i show up to my field placement (mandatory unpaid internship for the win) and i feel like i can barely talk to my clients anymore. i have no idea what to say when i call them or other agencies to make referrals. my grades are great thanks to the flexibility and understanding of my professors but i am truly and honestly not getting what i need to out of this because i cannot focus on anything happening in my life because i am so tired and apathetic.
i wish i could take a break, but i cant, because life keeps moving, and bills need to be paid. im trying to be better about not beating myself up about it. im hoping i can catch up with myself this summer, but i still will need to work two jobs to support myself through school and more unpaid work next year. what if its not enough to reset? i will probably get burnt out again next year even if i get a reprieve during the summer.
i wish i could get more accommodations at school but i dont know what i need other than LESS of everything and i dont have a dx (not access to one nor desire to get one in this political climate).
anyways, i am really just wondering if anyone has any advice for getting through this. i will take literally any help or advice or anecdotes you guys can give me. how do i balance my responsibilities with self-care tasks that fall on the wayside? how do i recover when i cant take a break??
thanks in advance