Is it worth pursuing a diagnosis at this point?

20F, went to the psychiatrist to consult for an ASD and ADHD assessment today. I’ve had severe depression and anxiety for years and I explained that most of it was caused by stress and panic around social interactions. He said that I probably have ADHD and gave me a “provisional diagnosis” and autism was possible but “not at the forefront of all my problems” and that my depression levels are too high and basically I should worry about that first.

He seemed reasonable and I agree with what he said, but I don’t know if it’s worth trying to get a diagnosis at this point because of the tremendous time, effort and money. The validation is something very important to me because when I first looked into the fact that I might have autism, everything started making sense, why I had struggled so much for my entire life. I know self diagnosis is valid but it would be valuable for me to get a visible and tangible answer for all the problems I’ve had.

The psych also said that I would need a family member for the assessment, and it would be very difficult to get a proper diagnosis without one since I wouldn’t fit all the criteria. My father is my only immediate option, but he’s very reluctant in me receiving a diagnosis because it’s so much work and it basically won’t do anything apart from validate me since it’s not something that can be treated like ADHD. He has a lot of internalised prejudice and denial though. I explained to him why I wanted to be assessed and he said that the ADHD explains enough of my problems, it’s highly unlikely I will receive a diagnosis anyway since I’m high functioning and even suggested that I wait a few years/decades for more research to be done about autism and an easier diagnosis process.

How worth it is trying to get a diagnosis at this point? I want to at least get assessed while I’m seeing a psychiatrist alongside my ADHD, and even if I give up on a diagnosis now, I know I eventually will try again when I’m older. But I’m so scared I’ll put all the work in just to not be diagnosed and it explained away as depression or something else when I know it isn’t. It’ll also be very stressful trying to cooperate with my father through the process. Not seeking medical advice, asking others for their experiences and opinions. I live in Australia if that’s relevant to anyone.