Gf told me that she cheated
I (26m) was dating my girlfriend (26f) since august 2019. Everything was perfect, pretty, smart, funny. We had a great connection since beginning of out relationship. Of course we had ups and downs but nothing serious.
Skipping to 2022, this was one of my worst years if not the worst year of my life. Lost alot of money from investing in crypto, lost my job at this time, skipped the gym (i was a gymrat from 2016 till end of 2021), I also neglected my relationship financially (no restaurants/vacations/even small things like flowers), emotionally and sexdrive got less frequent like once or twice a month.
At this time she was working in a fitness studio, her new job, she was happy with it. From time to time she told me how amazing and dedicated the ppl are. She knew every trainer in the gym (f&m) and once she said that there was one who is bringing her supplements that he got from a client, another time she told that he was planning to create a gym clothing brand and asked if she could design the logo since she is draws alot in her freetime.
In october 2022 she said that she didnt get enough attention from me and thought i wouldnt love her anymore and it went to a discussion and i remember my words „do whatever you want“. Our communication went so low that we only texted like hey how are you and it was always from my side, i tried to make a better conversation day by day which succeeded in early 2023.
Skipping to august 2024, our relationship was at its peak, we had our 5year anniversary in santorini, she surprised me with it. After we went flew back home few days after vacation she said I have to tell you something and I knew she never used these words ever. She started crying I was like babe it cant be that bad just tell me we will fix this and she couldt even say these words. I had to take them out of her mouth. I was exploding, more angry than sad tearing up because i thought i found a loyal woman that cheated on me for what? She said it was a this time back in 2022 when I showed less interest as I have written even tho I was working on it to fix things starting from communication, going out, sex, etc.
I stood up after some discussion and went stright out the apartment, she ran after me crying, crying so hard that she would collapse. Admitting her mistake and said she had to tell me, she couldnt live without telling me and it was a heavy thing to carry with her 2 years long. She understood the consequentses would understand it if I leave.
I still left the apartment without a word, calling my best friend, imediately telling me to move on. After that called her mother and brother just to be sure I tell them before she calls them and spreads false news (my first thought).
Her Brother told me that he totally understands and wished me all the best. Her mother too, but asked me if its worth to „destroy the house we have built“ the last 5 years.
I kept to my best friends advice which was just a confirmation of my thought to leave her since she lost respect for me with that cheatingact.
Days are passing and I question myself:
Did i deserve it for neglecting the relationship at my lowest point in my life?
Am I destroying my happieness with that breakup, as i said it was our peakmoment in relationship before these news
Will I ever find someone like her who knows and understands me in every way?
Can we fix this? Can I trust her again? Some say time heals all wounds, Im not sure anymore.
Now its more than a half year later, we moved in a new apartment, our relationship got even better/stronger, I feel like I can trust her again but from time to time when I think about it i get angry, more on this guy than on her because I know he knew that our relationship back in 2022 was at a breaking point and he used it as a „you can tell me anything, I will be there for you“ and then this happened.
Edit: I asked if thes used condoms, because we used it every time, had only 2 times raw sex with her. She told me at this time when they fucked the guy wanted it raw and even tho she declined but in the end did it anyway. After that she told me she was crying because of this what she has done and knew she would regret it but at this point she was so weak because of our Breaking relationship which in the end got better and better.
I appreciate any thought/comment.