It is coming back, I am concerned

I was anorexic in primary school, happily I recovered as much as I could. My ed never really went away, but it was much better than AN, I was healthy when starting high school. As years passed by i gained a bit of a weight, probably because of a medicine i take (I hate that I have to take it) i gained a lot of muscle as I started doing my sport seriously, I am an active competitor.

However I do think it is all coming back… i have no idea why… i started restricting food seriously, only eating the ‘good’ foods… I also started restricting and counting calories, and I just can’t allow myself to eat anything truly fulfilling… I get disgusted by the idea of eating…it is very hard for me to talk about it, I have never really expressed anything about this before.. I am concerned because I already feel my performance during training sessions is lower, I am constantly tired and cold, but I just can’t help it… I don’t know what is going to happen…